Seven terrible pieces of leadership advice and how to counter them

Clinical Psychologist Karen Nimmo published a fantastic article this week on “seven terrible pieces of life advice and how to counter them”, and not only did we recognise many of them, the thing that came to mind was “there’s some awful leadership advice out there too”. 

With big thanks to Karen for seeding the idea, Megan Sullivan and Tamara Mapp-Borren put their heads together to share some of their worst leadership advice and how to counter it:

1. A leader has to have the answers. A legacy thought left from the 19th century where managers instructed people, their word was final, and they often were technical experts in their field. Unfortunately the idea that as leaders we have to have all the answers is a sentiment that still prevails in workplaces, and the tide needs to turn on it.  In today’s world of complex problems, questions are actually the new answers. Leaders may need to make a final call but instead of resorting to their default problem-solving, leaders need to explore problems more in order to find the most strategic next step. Leaders who can resist the urge to have an immediate answer and instead can leverage their team will enable diversity of thought, unearth new perspectives and innovative ideas and engage and empower others.

2. You can only ‘lead’ if you have the title. Not only is this incorrect, it’s unhelpful and invalidating for many incredible people who lead up/down/sideways/all over the place and make a large contribution in our workplaces and communities. Forbes has done a great article on the definition of leadership which talks about the influence, through others, to achieve a goal.  In our hybrid reality a positive work environment begins with a collaborative foundation where everyone can be a leader cultivating great work everywhere and making things happen in our workplaces everyday, at every level.

3. “Grin and bear it”.  Or another version of this “hide your emotions”. Becoming a leader does not mean switching off your emotions, in fact if you have, you’re likely not being a great people leader. Leaders are humans, leading humans, and emotions are a fundamental part of being human – they motivate us, tell us what’s important, give us information on what’s working or not, connects us to the work we’re doing - people need to see their leaders experience and manage a range of emotions to normalize being human - not be robotic.  Build your EQ and self-awareness, but don’t switch off the emotion button.

4. You’ve “made it” when you’re a CEO.  Working alongside many CEOs we have first hand experience that leading an organisation is a job that requires leadership learning every single day. Being at the top is both a privilege and a responsibility, but getting the title does not mean your learning is done and in fact often leaders have fears, concerns, and development areas to work on just the same as every one else. For some becoming a CEO comes with the discovery that it’s not a role that they love, for others it’s a role they’ve worked hard for but expectations to do match reality. We’re not giving CEO’s a hard time here, but it’s a lovely reminder that “making it” and “leadership” means something different for each of us and the world we’re in needs this diversity.

5. “KISS - keep it simple silly”. While simplicity has it’s virtues in many aspects of life, today’s world is complex both in and outside of work. We are often juggling multiple challenges at once and navigating uncertainty and ambiguity as a matter of course. It is uncomfortable and, I hate to break it to you, it is supposed to be. In her book on Flux Mindset, April Rinne defines this reality as flux and talks about needing to hold the future gently. Instead of oversimplifying or trying to analyse our way out of something (which oftentimes gets us more stuck or down the wrong track) we are called to adopt a different, often contradictory mindset that can help us look for possibility and future potential, like deliberately slowing down or looking for what is invisible.

6. Don’t let them see you sweat.  We’re not talking physical exercise here (although research does show that moving our bodies can help us think clearer), this ol’ saying comes from the idea that as a leader you-must-not-be-seen-to-fail.  This rhetoric has caused many an office cover-up, justification, blame, denial, all of which is wildly unhelpful for individuals, teams and organisations.  Not only is it unhelpful, according to McKinsey’s research it is patently false. One of the biggest drivers that leads to the right team climate for exponential performance is situational humility, the ability to be a learner with a growth mindset. Key to displaying this is leaders who openly share their oops moments as well as their turn-around which normalises
   “safe-to-fail” and invites everyone to learn and share in kind, which we think is imperfectly perfect J

7. Fake it until you make it.  In a world with increased automation and virtual realities, authenticity in essential. Authentic leadership is not about letting it all hang out, but it is about knowing yourself, owning yourself and sharing yourself.  Human beings have inbuilt, finely tuned detectors that pick up when people are ‘faking it’ – we sniff it out even when someone is saying all the right words.  What’s more, as Harvard professor Francis Frei discusses in her Ted Talk, authenticity is a core pillar of trust. If I don’t believe I am getting the REAL you, my guards go up and I am highly unlikely to believe in your empathy or logic as a leader (which is a nonstarter right?). So, instead, try saying “you’ve got this, back yourself!”.  Let’s lead with that instead, be aware of those around you who also back you and ask for help.  Not only do people love helping others, it builds relationships.

We’ve laughed, we’ve groaned, we could’ve cried writing this together. What would you add to the mix?

Living through terrible leadership advice since forever (and in hindsight likely having given a bit ourselves along the way!)